The Authoritative Washington Wizards Off-season Training Program

Let’s start off with what is likely to be the single biggest generator of controversy in this entire article: the spelling of “off-season.” Is it “off-season” or “offseason”? Well, webster.com says it’s “off-season.” So that’s settled (for now, at least).

The Washington Wizards, for those of who who don’t follow professional basketball, are an NBA team based in Washington, D.C. They’re the team with whom I grew up (when they were called the Bullets), although I never followed them as passionately as I did college (in particular, ACC) basketball. But for a variety of reasons (my teenaged son, disillusionment with the NCAA generally and revenue college sports specifically), I’ve spent a lot of time watching them these past two seasons. And since I have exactly zero experience with any kind of participation in organized basketball beyond spectating (at times loudly) and being the parent of a teenaged boy who has played on rec league teams, I figured I’d put my qualifications on the line and offer my exhaustively researched and scientifically justified(*) recommendations for members of the Washington Wizards on how to spend their off-seasons.

Oh, I’m including ownership and management here, because I have some recommendations for them as well.

Starters

Bradley Beal

Brad is a solid number 2 (when he’s on) or number 3 (this season) option for a contending team. On the Wizards, that makes him numero uno. Not much we can do about that. But here are some recommendations for Brad:

1. Keep your head up, and try looking somewhere besides the basket. I cringe when, in a late-game situation, Beal has the ball in his hands, because you can just feel the drive-into-triple coverage coming. This sounds like a sarcastic bit of guidance, but I’m serious — Beal needs to learn how not to hold onto the ball as long, as well as how to have a plan before driving. If you’re cut off, what do you do? It’s pretty clear that, most of the time, Brad assumes, “I’ll get my shot or get fouled,” but there are, incredibly, other possible outcomes — and sometimes they’re better. Like kicking to an open man, but without looking up and seeing where your teammates are, there’s no chance you’ll know where to pass based on a split-second decision.
2. Learn how to split a double team. Waiting until both defenders are crowding you and hoping the ref will bail you out is not the correct method.

Kristaps Porzingis

Does that glucosamine chondroitin stuff actually work? If yes, eat as much of it as possible. Either way, work with your nutritionist and trainer — build up some leg strength to provide cushioning for your joints, because we’d like to have you available for as many games as possible. I have no idea how many that is.

Kyle Kuzma

Serious recommendation: work on your handle. Learn to dribble the ball closer to your body, not out at arm’s length.

The passes. The wild, painful passes. No, the guy seven rows up behind the bench is not wide open.

Another serious recommendation, and this one is a recurring theme: hit the weight room. Learn to embrace contact. Develop lower body and core strength, too, so that you can anchor against big men. You don’t have to put on the gun show, but you can’t defend one through five if a stiff breeze can move you out of the post.

While you’re working on that lower body strength, get lower on defense. They don’t call it a “defensive crouch” for no reason. Length will get you somewhere, but it won’t get you all the way, so learn to stay low and move laterally.

And definitely shoot about a zillion foul shots every single day.

Daniel Gafford

I love Daniel Gafford. I love the energy, the exuberance when he’s playing well, the jump-out-of-the-gym bounce. But we’ve got work to do, Gaff.

1. Weight room. Protein. Look, you’re never going to be Andre Drummond or Steven Adams (nor should you try). Those are mountainous human beings. But you have got to put on some strength — both upper and lower body. And as a big man, having some muscle mass around the joints will help your longevity, as long as you don’t go too far and carry more bulk than your frame can handle (a lesson Zion is still trying to learn).
2. Footwork. You’re never going to be a stretch big…and that is absolutely okay. We need an old-school rim protector/rebounder/post presence, and there damned sure isn’t anyone else on this roster capable of doing that. You were getting better at this until management instituted the ill-conceived “showcase” plan, but still, it’s an area for improvement. Being able to out-jump guys is great, but positioning matters…a LOT. Work on all the moves — the drop steps, spins, up-and-unders, fakes, all of it. And this will help your defense, since man does not live by shot-blocking alone, and no amount of wishful thinking is going to turn you into Olajuwon.
3. Passing. This isn’t really a weakness (or, to put it more accurately, it’s something you haven’t been asked to do), but since you are not a threat outside of ten feet, when you do get the ball near the cup, you should have the ability and floor vision to find an open shooter, if needed.
4. A reasonable mid-range shot. Again…not a stretch big. But that’s not an excuse to be one-sided. Your shooting motion isn’t horrible, so this one feels doable.

Corey Kispert

I’m including Corey here as a starter, because he has been starting lately, and that feels like something that may continue in the future.

1. That shooting motion. Low and straight off the forehead. Not to mention no lift on the shot. This, combined with a demonstrated lack of ability to shoot threes off the dribble, is going to make you needlessly easy to defend. Work with a shooting coach, let’s get that release point higher and work on elevating a bit, maybe. Working on shooting off the dribble would be a stretch goal, let’s say.
2. Defense. I cannot fault your effort on this front, but you are not the most athletic guy on the planet. Matching up with run/jump studs playing the 2 or 3 on defense is, unfortunately, pretty much your fate, so now’s the time to work on staying in front of your man and communicating. Footwork will pay dividends here.
3. Build on some strengths…literally. You’ve got a good frame. You’re probably the strongest candidate on the Wizards to win “most likely to have a post-NBA career doing remakes of Magic Mike.” I like your willingness to go against the trees on the boards, and at 6'7", you’ve got some decent size for a perimeter player, so let’s use that. Maybe even develop some post moves for the occasional mismatch. You should be able to bully some guys.
4. Handle. Again, credit where credit is due. You’ve had a rougher-than-expected season shooting the three, but you’ve shown an increased willingness to put the ball on the deck and try to get to the rim. Ball-handling drills all Summer will pay off.

Bench

Deni Avdija

I was too hard on you, Deni. I wrote you off as the misguided result of the Wizards’ inability to scout for talent. And the expectations for you to morph into an All-Defensive first-teamer (they were implied, if not stated outright) were unfair.

But I’ve seen some things lately that make me thing you might stick around as a productive member of the team. So let’s build on those.

For starters, even though you’re 6'9", I’m not convinced you could jump over the curb to get out of the street. Maybe I’m wrong. Much like your buddy Corey, you’re unlikely ever to be the most athletic guy on the floor. So let’s spend the Summer doing some heavy conditioning, b/c if you can keep from losing steam, that gap will narrow as the game goes on.

You take a lot of flak for not finishing at the rim. You deserve a lot of it. But you’re getting better, and I think we can turn that into a strength. For starters, I think you’ve got pretty soft hands, and I mean that as a compliment. I’ll compare two players I watched a lot in their college days — Carlos Boozer (Duke) and Sean May (UNC). I cringed on passes into the paint when Boozer was on the receiving end. He had really stiff hands back then, and the ball seemed just to bounce off of them at times. May was a stark contrast. It was like he had a vacuum hose in hist forearm that just sucked the ball in. Absolutely beautiful hands, and it made him an excellent rebounder.

To summarize: one guy had hands that seemed to have the same charge as the basketball, the other had hands that reminded me of a gecko.

I’m not saying you’re gecko-level, but I think you’ve got the ingredients. Weirdly enough, I think you need more strength (sometimes bulking up can actually harden your hands), so that you can hold onto contested rebounds.

Let’s talk about your body. You’ve got a body type that reminds me mostly of J.R. Reid and Adrian Dantley. Less inverted pyramid than…let’s just say I think you have a low center of gravity. But, again, you can use that. Let’s bulk the heck out of that lower body (squats and anything else to get some junk into the trunk). Last couple of games, you’ve demonstrated a willingness to bang on the boards. Love it. But if you cannot anchor against other big men, gonna be tough sledding. I think we can put the caboose to use to help you out here (and yeah, footwork).

Playing through contact…not your forte. You absolutely have to work on that, so you cannot avoid the upper body work. And just get some grit — I don’t know you, but Kuz thinks you’re a sweet kid. And off the court, I hope that’s exactly who you are. But a pregame meal of battery acid and rusty nails might be what you need. You aren’t LeBron, so stop looking at the refs for calls. Someone gets in your grill, get in his (again…on the court). So whatever you can do to get some meanness to your game would be good.

As many hours of contested threes as you can practice would be great. You’ve got a nice motion and release.

Also, despite being not super-athletic, you are 6'9". Fewer finger rolls, more dunks. So what if you aren’t Ja, it’s two points either way. Style points count for zip.

Thomas Bryant

I don’t know what your long-term future is, Thomas. You play like a stretch four, and that’s an overstaffed position on the Wizards. I feel like you are yet another Wizard who needs to get to know the strength coach better, and your post defense…you’re a good athlete, you play hard, I’ll give you that. But that defense. Did I mention the defense?

Rui Hachimura

6'8" frame with a healthy wrapping of muscle…Check. Improving outside shooter…check. Overstaffed position…check. What to do with you, Rui? This isn’t your fault, Tommy seems to think that PF is the only position you need on a team. Honestly, it seems like you’re heading in the right direction, but we could use some help on the boards, so working on defense and rebounding certainly cannot hurt. Not much we can do to transmogrify you into a sick-handle dime-dropping PG, which was going to be my other suggestion…

Anthony Gill

Yet another PF, and there’s a good chance that, with this team healthy and at full strength, you don’t see the floor. That seems somehow unfair, because you’re the one guy who is always on his feet, cheering the rest on, and you’re always ready and willing on those occasions when Wes does call your number.

I’m going to go out on a limb here, Anthony, but I’m thinking there’s a future coach lurking inside you. All that time watching and observing, and I don’t mean passively waiting for your next minutes, you are engaged at all times. So while I don’t know if there’s much we can do to help you see the floor as a player (and you are twenty-nine and one of the oldest players on the roster), but I wouldn’t be surprised to hear of a second career as a coach one day.

Ownership and Management

Ted Leonsis

Forget you own an NBA team. Just write checks when whoever is your GM asks. Don’t get to be buddies with the players. There is zero reason to think it will work out better for you than it has for Snyder. Don’t engender undue expectations among players that they can get the ear of the owner and go over the coach’s head. Just. Keep. Your. Distance.

Oh, you’re still young enough to be around to see the other side of a full rebuild…

Tommy Sheppard

Talent wins games. Having played at Gonzaga should count for squat. Seriously, this team needs some talent (and a big dose of athleticism).

Bradley Beal is not the savior, and neither is Porzingis. Get us a stud point guard, and I don’t mean a score-first human black hole. Chris Paul’s son is about thirteen now. Make sure you’ve got a first round pick ready in a few years…

(*) I’m being pretty liberal in my interpretations and uses of the terms, “exhaustively,” “researched,” “scientifically,” and “justified.” If you disagree with how I’m using them, well, that’s on you.